Talking is not communication

What you are doing wrong, and how to fix it

Jun 26, 2024

I once had a brilliant colleague who never got the chance to shine, and I assume his potential will always be capped.

While he was smart, the effort required to decipher his words into action was so heavy that he never got the promotion he believed he deserved. His ability to see problems and execute was spot on, but his ability to articulate only what was necessary was lacking.

His issue is common. An organization with 100 people spends 17 hours a week clarifying communication, per Siemens Enterprise Communications. That's 68 hours a month spent repeating information to ensure it is understood.

Good communication is the skill that will level you up in any industry and at any level. Talking and communication are different practices. Communication is driven by a goal, and the best leaders have mastered the art of communication.

Why you are a bad communicator

Every piece of communication should be able to answer these questions: Why am I sharing this, and what do I hope it will result in? Bad communicators suffer from at least one of the following:

Lack of context. Don’t ever assume the other person understands the context of what you are discussing. Do you start in the middle of a concept or at the solution? Context is the issue, project, process, tool, customer, or goal that is the topic of conversation.
Unclear purpose. What is the goal of the discussion? Do you talk for the sake of visibility? Visibility is not a goal. Visibility is a strategy to get to a goal.
Rambling rather than getting to the point. Is your communication linear and easy to follow? Or do you jumble ideas and stories?
Mixing multiple issues. Can you distill a cluster of issues into a series of solvable problems?
Lengthy, unclear summaries. Do you understand what is going on well enough to make it simple and clear? Or do you understand it so well that you do not know why it is important to state the issue in the first place?

The goal of communication in the workplace is either to solve a problem or execute a vision. This manifests through a variety of categories:

Ideate or brainstorm
Align on a direction
Make a decision
Plan an outcome
Produce something

In The First Minute, Chris Fenning categorizes conversations by intent. Fenning recommends framing every conversation in fifteen seconds by providing context, a clear intention, and a clear headline followed by a structured summary of the entire message that needs to be delivered, including the goal and the problem standing between you and the goal. Fenning recommends always putting the issue in front of the solution. To frame a conversation, include context (topic to talk about) + intent (what you want the audience to do with your info) + key message (the most important part of the message you are about to deliver).

Fenning believes most communication will fall into one of the categories below and offers the following devices:

Needing help, advice, or input
- How to state intent:
  - “Can you help?”
  - “We need your input.”
Requesting action
- How to state intent:
  - “Can you provide an update on x?”
Wanting a decision
- How to state intent:
  - “Have you decided about x?”
Letting someone know something isn’t going to happen so that they can prepare
- How to state intent:
  - “You need to know this before you talk to the client.”
Giving input
- How to state intent:
  - “As requested, here is my previous deck.”
  - “My suggestions for the presentation are x.”

Common communication pitfalls

Stop sharing for visibility. Visibility may be a by-product of any of the goals and strategies above, but visibility is not a goal. For example, a goal is to align on a solution for x. The strategy is to brainstorm at a workshop. Visibility would only come in through the context of “we are working on solving for x and ran y workshop, the 3 strategies we brainstormed are attached, and we will have a solution by Monday. This is for visibility if you want to weigh in, otherwise, no action is needed.” Visibility is a murky excuse for intent. Before communicating, you should know why you are reaching out to the person and what you hope to get from them. You should be able to articulate, “I am sharing this because x, and my desired outcome is y.”
- Tactically, this means that rather than forwarding an invoice and typing “Looks like we owe Acme Inc. some money,” you can say, “We have an outstanding balance with Acme Inc. Are you the right person to take it from here?”
My anti-visibility philosophy manifests itself in any communication scenario. Do not communicate without intent, unless you have the intent just to talk (“Hey, I have a funny story!”).
Don’t check in. Our first sales coach and advisor, Marnie Breton, taught us early on not to check in. Checking in is not substantive. Emailing to ask, “Have you made a decision on x?” is substantive.

While we are at it, stop using these words.

In communication, some words diminish your power in communication:

So
Um
Like
Sorta
Kinda
Basically
Essentially
Probably
Shoulda
Coulda

In conclusion

The skill that will guarantee growth at any organization is good communication. You will get noticed for doing your job clearly and aligning with the right folks.