When you pause, you stop going fast

You have to learn to take action before you feel like it

If you started following me from my New Year’s resolution post, you know that one of my 2025 goals is to drop into a bowl — specifically, the Venice Beach bowl. Thanks to my monthly milestones (from the post above), I made it to my first skate school lesson of the year.

The instructor was teaching me how to pump back and forth on the half-pipe, and kept demanding “Layla, stop hesitating at the apex — you are killing your momentum. Layla, physics will always win!”

I did not notice my self-sabotage until he called it out several times. As the board went up the wall, I slowed the board down. Similar to when you stop pumping your legs on a swing and let the swing take the lead versus your muscles, my body instinctively blocked the momentum it was generating. And as it turns out, physics will always win.

I was scared.

I corrected the behavior and within a few more goes, my better form became habit. I had to stop relying on my emotions to guide me when I thought I was at risk. I had to develop a muscle memory that I could rely on. And once it was developed, the muscle memory became a learned habit.

The lesson: you have to learn to take action before you feel like doing something. Because most of us don’t feel like doing scary things or boring things or redundant things, even when we think we want the outcome.

Self-sabotage, GIFed

The fastest way to push past hesitation and develop new skills is through direct feedback. And I needed a lot of it—most of the class was spent unlearning.

Unlearning the stance that made me an adept street skater.

Unlearning how to dismount a board to reduce the risk of injury.

Getting feedback on something you think you already know is tough. But that feedback shaved off dozens of cycles.

Feedback saves time.

Feedback makes you better.

Feedback is the best tool for success.

Because feedback saves time. And what’s wrong with time?

Time kills momentum.

Time kills deals.

Time kills desires.

Direct feedback chops time off, bringing your desired outcome closer—in sport, at work, and in life.

To take feedback well, you need to understand the principles that guide you. Then, evaluate whether the feedback aligns with them.

I know I want to learn the bowl. And that desire outweighs any pride or fear that would keep me stuck.

A victory lap

It’s uncanny how much the feedback I have received in sport matches feedback that I have received at work. In soccer/skateboarding/and at work I have heard:

• I am good at applying power, but I need to slow down to focus on precision

• I am fast, but sometimes at the cost of detail

• I am a high communicator, but sometimes not linear

The awareness has led to reflection, the reflection has led to self-improvement.

Most people are not willing to give feedback unless prompted, so think of three people you can ask for feedback, and get closer to your goals. What would you add?

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