Work-life balance is a myth

...but work-life optimization is a choice

Work-life balance is a myth. Having it all is a myth. Work-life optimization is a choice, and it is the act of determining and prioritizing what matters most.

To win or lose in anything, you need to know your goal. To determine your formula for work-life optimization, start with a clear picture of success. What three things matter most right now? You can only score shots into goals you can see. 

My 3 priorities are:

1. Family (Key question: Where do I want my family and close relationships to be in 5 years? Do my actions today pave the way for that goal?)

2. Building my company (we have goals determined as an exec team)

3. My health (I have workout goals)

So,

1. Determine your three things

2. What are your goals within the three things? Write them down, and join the 3% of us who write down our goals

3. What is your existing progress towards your goals?

4. What is the timeline to reach your goals?

5. What sequence of events is required for each goal?

80% of what you do should be in service of the goals above. If more than 20% of what you do falls outside of the goals above, your priorities are misinformed and you need to be honest with yourself on which priorities matter. Or you are at risk of feeling burnout due to inadequacy and failure. 

There is a direct relationship between happiness and control

By simply identifying your goals and your progress within, you gift yourself with control. Many of us know how it feels to feel overwhelmed and out of control.

It turns out that there is a direct relationship between how in control you feel and how happy you are. The locus of control theory describes each person’s locus — or place — of control. Whether it is health, work, etc, we each have a sense of how in charge of our lives we are. When you have internal locus control, you feel in charge. Obligation does not drive you. When you have external locus control, you feel like your boss, bills, or personal issues control you. You don’t have a grip on the wheel.

People with an internal locus of control feel more proactive, creative, confident, and outgoing. And become our leaders. Folks with an external locus of control tend to be passive, indecisive, and prone to feelings of stress/negativity/anger.

At the heart of control is responsibility

If I were to present a scale of 1-10 and rank you on how much responsibility you take for your life, where would you fall? Are you a 10 and accountable? Or are you a 1 and a victim of circumstances? Signs that you are on the bottom end of the scale include making excuses, complaining, criticizing others, and blaming others without assuming responsibility. 

Accountability leads to responsibility. Responsibility leads to control. Control leads to happiness. 

Because at the end of the day, it is hard to beat a goal that has not been set.

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