This is my first Substack article, and I just want to thank you. With the way I grew up I have a deep fear of being seen and perceived by people, of being embarrassed and disappointing people and it’s held me back for longer than I’d like to admit. The older I get and the closer I get to 30 over the past couple months the more I’ve realised that I don’t want to live the next 20-odd years miserable and bogged down by the weight of other people’s perceptions. Thank you for recontexualizing embarrassment for me.
This sparked something in me. Maybe it's the concept of the "failure log" or just the idea that humans even see failure as "embarrassing," but I really feel it. I'm not a founder or an entrepreneur and I don't want to be - but I still hold myself back out of fear of being embarrassed. Or failing. What if my 20 subscribers don't like my random ass blog post topic? What if I expose my self as having some ~different opinion on something? What if I apply for the job I am absolutely not qualified for but want so bad (and know I will fail the interview)? Who cares!
I will be creating a new "failure log" in my Notion immediately and every addition will be CELEBRATED. Thank you.
Isn't it wild to think about how much our perception of ourselves has held us back??? It blows me away every time. Love this new realization, go get em!
I want to learn more about “Handle visibility without self-destruction”. I read this as internalizing failed content to equate fail of self. Or maybe it’s externalized… interpreting data on content to shape your narrative and putting a bazooka to your pov. How did you mean it?
Hey! I meant being ok with being seen and not spiraling when you don’t get immediate and massive public validation. Being driven by your own intrinsic motivation and not extrinsic barometers
Love this! Just what I needed at this point in my life. I've been feeling perpetually embarassed these days as I try to navigate a new job. And my ego was translating it as failure. But your article has completely flipped how I view embarassment. Thank youu 😭💗
P.s. sorry I've restacked so many sections of your article, but it's so that I can be reminded of it every time I'm on my profile 😅
Such a beautiful way of putting it up out there. Thanks for sharing this and making me realise that embarrassment is a part of growing and success. It was a lovely read, loved your insights!🫶🏻
Been inactive in my socmed lately, deactivated all my accs coz i'm scared of ppl finding out that i'm still nothing after almost two months of graduation. I am scared to be seen like this & this article felt like the universe' way of talking to me. Thank you so much for this! I've realized some things & i think it's time to change those.
That’s all to say your thinking here is right ❤️ you got this. I know when you’re young months feel like everything. Especially after decades of structured education. But the world is yours. You can choose almost any path
A phenomenal read, thank you for sharing. It definitely sparked feelings of the fear of being seen failing . In all honesty it’s the biggest thing that stunts growth . I really enjoyed this read and will be taking my lessons learnt to just start , “because nothing changes if nothing changes “🙏🏾
Layla!! I love you! I've been following for couple of year (at least - for sure!) and LOVE your content so much.
You are extremely inspiring to me and your brain and mine.. they speak the same language!
I'm not the kind of person that you can tell to do something "just because", but you really have to EXPLAIN it to me - and you never fail giving the science!
This article: illuminating and so useful for me at this stage of my life. Thank you.
In it, many gems and so many practical tips I can start applying right away.
Loved this article especially the quote “When people can't control you, they control other people's view of you." How do you do this? I try but growing up in a small religious community it’s hard not to think everyone’s judging you. Being seen has been a life long struggle.
We all needed this one! Such a great reminder of our power to own how we show up, and our ability to scaffold our own learning, accomplishment and success
This is my first Substack article, and I just want to thank you. With the way I grew up I have a deep fear of being seen and perceived by people, of being embarrassed and disappointing people and it’s held me back for longer than I’d like to admit. The older I get and the closer I get to 30 over the past couple months the more I’ve realised that I don’t want to live the next 20-odd years miserable and bogged down by the weight of other people’s perceptions. Thank you for recontexualizing embarrassment for me.
What a beautiful realization and growth journey. Thanks for sharing and thanks for behind here
This sparked something in me. Maybe it's the concept of the "failure log" or just the idea that humans even see failure as "embarrassing," but I really feel it. I'm not a founder or an entrepreneur and I don't want to be - but I still hold myself back out of fear of being embarrassed. Or failing. What if my 20 subscribers don't like my random ass blog post topic? What if I expose my self as having some ~different opinion on something? What if I apply for the job I am absolutely not qualified for but want so bad (and know I will fail the interview)? Who cares!
I will be creating a new "failure log" in my Notion immediately and every addition will be CELEBRATED. Thank you.
Isn't it wild to think about how much our perception of ourselves has held us back??? It blows me away every time. Love this new realization, go get em!
I want to learn more about “Handle visibility without self-destruction”. I read this as internalizing failed content to equate fail of self. Or maybe it’s externalized… interpreting data on content to shape your narrative and putting a bazooka to your pov. How did you mean it?
Hey! I meant being ok with being seen and not spiraling when you don’t get immediate and massive public validation. Being driven by your own intrinsic motivation and not extrinsic barometers
I love every minute of reading this.
Thank you!!
Love this! Just what I needed at this point in my life. I've been feeling perpetually embarassed these days as I try to navigate a new job. And my ego was translating it as failure. But your article has completely flipped how I view embarassment. Thank youu 😭💗
P.s. sorry I've restacked so many sections of your article, but it's so that I can be reminded of it every time I'm on my profile 😅
We are all perpetually embarrassed it turns out and PLEASE RESTACK I love it!!! every single one makes my heart flutter
Such a beautiful way of putting it up out there. Thanks for sharing this and making me realise that embarrassment is a part of growing and success. It was a lovely read, loved your insights!🫶🏻
Thank you for the note!
loved this article!! thanks for inspiring some accountability and empowerment.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Been inactive in my socmed lately, deactivated all my accs coz i'm scared of ppl finding out that i'm still nothing after almost two months of graduation. I am scared to be seen like this & this article felt like the universe' way of talking to me. Thank you so much for this! I've realized some things & i think it's time to change those.
That’s all to say your thinking here is right ❤️ you got this. I know when you’re young months feel like everything. Especially after decades of structured education. But the world is yours. You can choose almost any path
Thank you so much! I will keep this in mind and embody it. 💛
Girl that’s nothing!!! A few months is a blip. The rest of your life takes a lot of plan in and often trying a few things
A phenomenal read, thank you for sharing. It definitely sparked feelings of the fear of being seen failing . In all honesty it’s the biggest thing that stunts growth . I really enjoyed this read and will be taking my lessons learnt to just start , “because nothing changes if nothing changes “🙏🏾
Thank you!!! Appreciate the read and the note
I hear your voice in my head whenever I'm about to post and I feel cringe. "embarrasment is the price of success" and it works every time!
Yesssss it is effective
I love this! I related so much to it because I’ve been having a nudge about this, but I couldn't pinpoint it. Thank you so much!!
We tend to run away from embarrassment in every way possible, forgetting to embrace it as part of our human nature.
Exactly! It feels counterintuitive to embrace it but it’s so powerful when you do
Layla!! I love you! I've been following for couple of year (at least - for sure!) and LOVE your content so much.
You are extremely inspiring to me and your brain and mine.. they speak the same language!
I'm not the kind of person that you can tell to do something "just because", but you really have to EXPLAIN it to me - and you never fail giving the science!
This article: illuminating and so useful for me at this stage of my life. Thank you.
In it, many gems and so many practical tips I can start applying right away.
God bless you and your work - and thank you.
Loving sister from Italy
Thanks Erika 😭😭 and same haha — I always need to know the why
Loved this insight about embarassment and how to deal with it, or even look forward to it! It was just what i needed!
Looking forward to it as part of the calculus required to get what’s next is the best perspective!
Loved this article especially the quote “When people can't control you, they control other people's view of you." How do you do this? I try but growing up in a small religious community it’s hard not to think everyone’s judging you. Being seen has been a life long struggle.
It’s a journey! Realizing how powerless they are outside of your head helps. Only you can give them power, otherwise their words are just words
So true! Thank you for such a great article.
We all needed this one! Such a great reminder of our power to own how we show up, and our ability to scaffold our own learning, accomplishment and success
Yesss -- we hold so much power
Wow, so many relatable points. Packed with affirmations of theory I’ve questioned. Thank You 🙏🏾☺️
Thank you! :) Happy to affirm -- keep pushing